here’s a little background information on me.
up until about a year and a half ago i was a daughter, friend, teacher and wife. i spent my days at work, shaping young minds, hopefully, into the responsible citizens of tomorrow. i spent my evenings supporting my musician of a husband by singing along with him at the top of my lungs from the front row. night owl by nature, early bird by occupation, being a walking contradiction is challenging but that was nothing compared to what was about to happen.
i was scheduled for a minor surgical procedure in may of 2009. i was being prepped. i already had the paper cap and booties on. i had completed the walk of shame clutching the ends of my embarrassingly backless gown. they were just short of rolling me into the operating room when the results from my blood test were brought in. a nurse walks over and says, “we can’t perform this procedure on you.” more than a dozen reasons crossed my mind. was the surgeon sick? had i miraculously healed? did it have anything to do with those overdue library books? “what? why not?” i asked. “because you’re pregnant.” she said.
that was not one of the reasons that had crossed my mind.
instantly a new title was added to my list-MOMMY. and so the journey began. we had been hoping to start our family years ago. everyone told us to “stop trying” and that “it would happen when we least expected it to.” boy, they weren’t kidding! so there i was, unprepared and unqualified but as the news started to sink in i started smiling and i haven’t stopped since.
i think there are different “mom clubs” that women become members of as their children reach different levels of development. but toddler moms, moms with multiples, moms of the dreaded teenagers, empty nest moms, etc. were all initially inducted into the new mom club, of which i am now a member. it might sound strange or cliché to some people but other moms will probably understand me when i say that i immediately felt different. i was my old self not a moment ago, but now i felt smarter, stronger.
there were moments during my pregnancy when my confidence wavered and i felt deflated (in spirit, not in size) and defeated. i was surprised at how many rude comments, inappropriate jokes, pieces of unsolicited advice and negative remarks some people were comfortable sharing with a woman pregnant with her first child. luckily supportive mommy friends and family and my new mommy instincts stepped in and suddenly i was smart enough to know that i was strong enough to push past whatever or whoever was in my way.
there are parts of my life that have certainly changed and others that haven’t changed at all. i still spend my days teaching, but maybe with a little more patience and understanding than before. and i still sing at the top of my lungs with my husband but in the car now, and to nursery rhymes. for the most part i’m still unprepared and unqualified but, with the help of both instincts and fellow mommies, i’m learning, and i still haven’t stopped smiling.
